George Costanza Quotes

“You Should’ve Seen The Look On Her Face! It Was The Same Look My Father Gave Me When I Told Him I Wanted To Be A Ventriloquist!”

“Oh Noooooo! I’m So Sorry, It’s The MOOPS! The Correct Answer Is ‘The Moops.'”

“You’re Giving ME The ‘It’s Not You, It’s Me’ Routine? I INVENTED ‘It’s Not You, It’s Me’!”

“I’m Disturbed, I’m Depressed, I’m Inadequate – I’ve Got It All!”

“Oh, No, Thanks. I Can’t Drink Coffee Late At Night. It Keeps Me Up.”

“We Have Watched You Take Our Beloved Yankees And Reduce Them To A Laughing Stock!”

“I Know I’m Not Cartwright!”

“Was That Wrong? Should I Not Have Done That?”

“The Sea Was Angry That Day, My Friends! Like An Old Man Trying To Send Back Soup In A Deli!”

“But You Are, Blanche! You Are In The Shackles!”

“Oh Yeah? Well, The Jerk Store Called. They’re Running Out Of YOU!”

“Please, A Little Respect, For I Am Costanza, Lord Of The Idiots.”

 If you can’t say something bad about a relationship you shouldn’t say anything at all.

“I love a good nap. Sometimes it’s the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning.”— George Costanza,

I don’t think I’ve ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up.

If it wasn’t for the toilet, there would be no books.

 Instead of doing a wash, I just keep buying underwear. My goal is to have over 360 pair. That way I only have to do a wash once a year.

I come from a long line of quitters. My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter. I was raised to fail.

I’m never gonna have a child. If I lose this Frogger high score, that’s it for me.

If she can’t find me, she can’t break up with me.