Grumpy Old Men is a film about two elderly men who have despised one other for their entire lives and happen to live next door to each other.
When an attractive woman named Ariel, played by Ann-Margret, moves in across the street, the guys decide to compete to see who can woo her first.
The film features an all-star cast that includes actors from the 1960s as well as younger 1990s icons such as Daryl Hannah and Kevin Pollack.
This drew newer generations to watch the film, which, combined with the Lemmon-Matthau comedy, helped to make it a hit.
Grumpy old men have a lot of wisdom to share, and they’re not afraid to share it! Here are some of the best grumpy old men quotes.
Grumpy Old Men Quotes
“You can wish in one hand and crap in the other, and see which one gets fill first.”
“I just met a girl named Maria, and suddenly I see she’s not the… bitch I thought she would be.”
“Mmmm… lesbians,yummy!”
John Gustafson: Nobody slept with anybody.
– Grandpa Gustafson: Speak for yourself.”
“There are many fish In the sea but you’re the only one I’d want to stuff and mount over my fireplace.”
How about you come back to my place and I’ll show you my man-size cannelloni?”
BURGESS MEREDITH
And finally, the baby bear looked and he said, “Somebody’s sleeping in my bed, and the bastard’s still there!” But Goldylocks had a Remington semi-automatic, with a scope and a hair-trigger!
“Then one day you wake up and you realize that you’re not 81 anymore. And then you begin to count the minutes rather than the days. And you realize that pretty soon, you’ll be gone. And that all you have, see, is the experiences. That’s all there is, John, everything. The experiences… You mount that woman, son… or else, send her out to me, huh?” ― Grandpa Gustafson
“Drop that fish!” ― Grandpa Gustafson
“I usually drink my dinner.” ― Grandpa Gustafson
“Each year comes and goes, and I’m still here. Ha! And they keep dying. You know? Sometimes I wonder if God forgot about me.” ― Grandpa Gustafson
“What’s the matter, beautiful? You’re meaner than a dog shitting tacks.” ― Grandpa Gustafson
“How about you come back to my place and I’ll show you my man-size cannelloni?” ― Grandpa Gustafson
“You can wish in one hand and crap in the other, and see which one gets fill first.” ― Grandpa Gustafson
Conclusion
Grumpy Old Men quotes are a great way to show your friends and family that you’re a witty, intelligent person. They can also be used as a way to make someone laugh when they’re having a bad day. So the next time you need to cheer someone up, or just want to make them laugh, use one of these Grumpy Old Men quotes!
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