58 Funny Criminal Minds Quotes

In the show Criminal Minds, the Behavioral Analysis Unit (BAU) is a team of FBI profilers who analyze the country’s most twisted criminals.

The team is led by Agent Aaron Hotchner (played by Thomas Gibson) and includes Dr. Spencer Reid (Matthew Gray Gubler), Jennifer “JJ” Jareau (AJ Cook), and Derek Morgan (Shemar Moore), and Penelope Garcia (Kirsten Vangsness).

The BAU often comes up with witty one-liners, and here are some of our favorite Criminal Minds quotes you might find interesting. Check them out!

Funny Criminal Minds Quotes

1. “The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you can see.” —Winston Churchill

2. “Try again, fail again. Fail better.” —Samuel Beckett

3.  “Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” —Albert Einstein

3. “Birds sing after a storm. Why shouldn’t people feel as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them?”—Rose Kennedy

4. “Nothing is so common as the wish to be remarkable.” —William Shakespeare

5.  “The question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I, or the others crazy?” —Albert Einstein

6. “What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal.” —Albert Pine

7. “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” —Abraham Lincoln

Criminal Minds Quotes about life and suffering

8. “Life is a hell of a thing to happen to someone”― David Rossi

9. “I know what it’s like to be afraid of your own mind.” ― Dr. Spencer Reid

10. “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. Paul Boese.” 

11. “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it. Helen Keller.”

12. “When you have a child, the world has a hostage. (retrogeekery.com) ” Ernest Hemingway”

13. “Destroying a book is like…destroying a whole world.” — Diana Reid 

14. “You’d be surprised how many killers do what they do because of their parents.” — Dr. Spencer Reid

15. “Convictions are more dangerous foes of truth than lies.” Friedrich Nietzsche”

16. “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain.”

17. “It’s alchemy. Alchemy turns common metals into precious ones. Dreams work the same way. Turning something awful into…something better.” — David Rossi 

18. “I’ve always heard every ending is also a beginning. We just don’t know it at the time. I’d like to believe that’s true.” — Emily Prentiss 

19. “He is the perfect man. He doesn’t hog the covers, and he poops in a box.” — Emily Prentiss 

20. “When Garcia can’t find a breadcrumb, it’s usually because the bread was never baked.” — Jennifer Jareau 

21. “That is a new deal and as fast as a caffeinated cheetah riding a lightning bolt, I am on it!” — Penelope Garcia 

22.  “Went on a diet last night. Lost 185 pounds.” — Dr. Tara Lewis 

23. “Marital bliss followed by marital diss! Of course. Why didn’t I think of that?” — Penelope Garcia

24. “I don’t take kindly to being blown up. In fact, it kind of pisses me off.” — Derek Morgan 

25. “And so the guessing game begins! From what nook or cranny will our new missing head roll out?” — David Rossi 

26.“Look at me. Without a gun, I look like a teacher’s assistant!” ― Dr. Spencer Reid 

27. “I got shot in the leg and I don’t get any cookies.”  ― Dr. Spencer Reid

28. “Evil can’t be scientifically defined: it’s an illusory moral concept that doesn’t exist in nature. Its origins and connotations have been inextricably been linked to religion and mythology.” ― Dr. Spencer Reid

29. “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you’ve really stopped to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. ― Hotch

30. “Look, of all the serial killer types, the ones I find most dangerous are the hyper-intelligent ones that get off more on the mind games than the killing. They’re like vampires, ready to suck your soul dry and file your information away for a rainy day.” — Dr. Tara Lewis 

31. “Aside from being slightly morally repugnant, he’s clean as a whistle. If that whistle was slightly morally repugnant.” — Penelope Garcia 

32. “Logic dictates that if you believe in one, you have to reconcile the existence of the other.” ― Dr. Spencer Reid

33. “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for the good men to do nothing. Edmund Burke.” (Season 7, Episode 22)

Criminal Minds quotes By Dr. Spencer Reid

34. “Actually, some studies indicate that men take twice as many selfies as women ’cause it’s considered to be an acceptable form of male vanity.” — Dr. Spencer Reid 

35. “Although the observable universe is continually expanding, there’s really no way of knowing the whole thing is gonna ultimately collapse into one gargantuan Black Hole.” — Dr. Spencer Reid 

36. “The praying mantis can kill and eat a multitude of creatures but the most interesting fact is that oftentimes the female mantis engages in sexual cannibalism, meaning she’ll bite off the head of her mate once copulation is complete, sometimes even during intercourse, actually.” — Dr. Spencer Reid 

37. “The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It’s actually safer to kiss.” — Dr. Spencer Reid

38. “The business of incarceration is extremely lucrative and virtually recession-proof.” — Dr. Spencer Reid 

39. “It is impossible to suffer without making someone pay for it; every complaint already contains revenge. Friedrich Nietzsche.” — Dr. Spencer Reid 

Criminal Minds Quotes by Famous People

40. “The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.” — Joseph Conrad

41. “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.” — Oscar Wilde

42. “It’s not so important who starts the game, but who finishes it.” — Erich Fromm

43. “He was ready to go but I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.” – Alex Blake

44. “Life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person.” – David Rossi

45. “To the sexual offender, possession is power, and total possession is absolute power.” – Stephen G. Michaud

46. “Things are not always what they seem; the first appearance deceives many. The intelligence of a few perceives what has been carefully hidden.” – Phaedrus

47. “Remember, we are our own griefs, my dear, we are our own happiness and we are our own remedies.” – Huseyn Raza

48. “Just thugs only ever got so far. The best thugs were all psychologists.” – China Miéville

49. “When truth is buried underground it grows, it chokes, it gathers such an explosive force that on the day it bursts out, it blows up everything with it.” – Émile Zola

50. “Scars remind us where we’ve been. They don’t have to dictate where we’re going.” – David Rossi

Criminal Minds Season 5 Quotes

51. “So much of what is best in us is bound up in our love of family, that it remains the measure of our stability because it measures our sense of loyalty.” —Haniel Long

52. “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and unspeakable love.” —Washington Irving

53. “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.”—Sir Walter Scott

54. “Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all.”—Emily Dickinson

55. “The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”—George Bernard Shaw

Criminal Minds Quotes about Evil

56. “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you’ve really stopped to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. ― Hotch

57. “Look, of all the serial killer types, the ones I find most dangerous are the hyper-intelligent ones that get off more on the mind games than the killing. They’re like vampires, ready to suck your soul dry and file your information away for a rainy day.” — Dr. Tara Lewis 

58. “Look, of all the serial killer types, the ones I find most dangerous are the hyper-intelligent ones that get off more on the mind games than the killing. They’re like vampires, ready to suck your soul dry and file your information away for a rainy day.” — Dr. Tara Lewis 

Conclusion

Criminal Minds is an excellent show with funny quotes that make viewers laugh. The sections are humorous and clever, making the show more enjoyable. The show is full of suspense and drama, which keeps viewers on the edge of their seats. The characters are interesting and complex, adding to the overall viewing experience. Criminal Minds is a show worth watching.

You can also check out: 100 Inspiring You Deserve The Best Quotes

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