Jealousy is a toxic emotion that one needs to steer clear of, to have a clear conscience and enjoy relationships with others. And anyone can be jealous, even your co-worker. Yes, jealous co-workers exist.
A jealous person sees nothing good in who he/she is jealous of, and this hinders the chance of having a great relationship with the other person.
Table of contents
- What is Jealousy?
- Reasons your Co-worker could be Jealous of You?
- Signs Your Co-Worker Is Jealous Of You
- 1. They make snide and mocking remarks about your work:
- 2. They talk about you badly to others /gossip about you:
- 3. They leave you out of plans for fun activities after work hours:
- 4. They are always too busy to help you:
- 5. They always disagree with your ideas:
- 6. They try to play down your efforts and achievements:
- 7. They always try to compete with you:
- 8. They disrespect you openly:
- 9. They avoid direct contact with you, especially eye contact:
- 10. They try to sabotage your work:
- Steps To Take If Your Co-Worker Is Jealous Of You
- Conclusion
- FAQs
- References
- Recommendation
What is Jealousy?
Jealousy is defined as the feeling and thought of unhappiness, resentment, and bitterness directed toward a person. This could be due to envying their possession and things about them that one doesn’t have.
Jealousy is a state of mind which stems from comparing oneself with another person. It then leads to feelings of hatred and resentment towards the person one is jealous of.
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Reasons your Co-worker could be Jealous of You?
1. They want what you have:
Now, some of the reasons a co-worker could be jealous of you include wanting what you have.
For example, if two co-workers are due for a promotion, and only one of them gets promoted. In that situation, the other person could start feeling jealous of his co-worker due to desiring what they have.
If you feel you can’t take it anymore, then check out these 15 Signs It’s Time For A Career Change In 2023
2. Low Self-esteem:
Jealousy could also stem from low self-esteem and self-image. When a person looks down on himself/herself, such a person is prone to getting jealous of others who seem to get it all together and appear confident.
If your co-workers have low self-esteem, see these 10 Proven Ways to Motivate Yourself for Work even at all Odds
3. Comparison:
Jealousy could also be a result of the comparison. Comparison is a thief of joy, and it could also lead to resentment when you feel like the other person is better than you.
This is also common in the workplace, where two executives compare to one another. This, most time, breeds feelings of jealousy rather than motivation to succeed.
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Signs Your Co-Worker Is Jealous Of You
1. They make snide and mocking remarks about your work:
One of the obvious signs that your co-worker is jealous of you is that they always make snide, mocking, and devaluing remarks about your work. They never see value in anything you do, and they always look down on your efforts.
Jealous individuals most times aspire to become like you. Hence, when they can’t achieve this or realize that you are doing better than them, they go through all means to demerit your work.
They would always be the ones to notice the tiniest errors without appreciating the great work and effort put in to achieve the given task(s). Also, they could be petty and make comments about your body, clothes, etc.
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2. They talk about you badly to others /gossip about you:
Another trait of jealousy in a co-worker is that he/she speaks badly about you to others behind your back. They gossip about you!
Jealous co-workers always have something bad to say to you and about you. And this is usually done to ruin your reputation and make you look bad in the eyes of others. They can also spread lies about you, make people have the wrong impression of you, and give you a tough time at work.
Also, a jealous co-worker could give poor recommendations about you if they are able to give such. They would never exult your good qualities, rather, they would focus on your weaknesses and try to sabotage your growth.
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3. They leave you out of plans for fun activities after work hours:
Another sign that you are working with jealous co-workers is that they always “forget” to include you, or inform you about fun activities. If they plan an after-office event, they do not make you aware, all in a bid to make you feel unwelcomed.
Jealous co-workers would always make you feel left out, and even when they have had to tell you about these events, they would be unwilling to.
Asides from not inviting you to after-work events, if peradventure, you end up attending these events, they would make you feel uncomfortable, left out, and out of place.
4. They are always too busy to help you:
Being too busy to help others may not always be a sign of jealousy. However, when it becomes a pattern, then something is wrong.
A jealous co-worker never wants you to make progress at work. Hence, when they are able to help you solve an issue with work, they would always pretend to be busy and too occupied to take out time to help you.
Most times, they aim to make you helpless and be at their mercy. This is a sure sign of jealousy if it occurs consistently. And it is even more true when they have time to help others, even with a more arduous task, but never have time to help you out, even with simple things.
5. They always disagree with your ideas:
Consistent disagreement and opposition to your ideas are a signs that a co-worker is jealous of you. If whenever you bring up an idea, they seem to always have a reason why it won’t work, then you have a jealous co-worker around you.
A jealous co-worker never wants you to thrive. Hence, they always try to stifle and take the life out of whatever ideas you may have for your organization.
They could cloak it by saying they are being aimed. However, are able to differentiate between being the aim and being critical. There is a thin line between both, and the way and manner of presentation, as well as the reasons stated, would expose what they are trying to do.
6. They try to play down your efforts and achievements:
Downplaying your work and achievements at work is another sign of having a jealous co-worker. These individuals always try to make your work look shabby, without value, and irrelevant.
Also, they try to downplay your achievements at work by insinuating that you probably achieved something by mere luck or because you are close to a top-level official. They never appreciate the efforts and intelligence you put in to achieve whatever you did.
Such people always try to make you feel bad when you talk about your achievements. Don’t be moved; they are merely projecting their feeling of inadequacy.
7. They always try to compete with you:
Jealous individuals are always in competition with whoever they are jealous of. They are always on the run to outdo and outsmart the other person, who may not even be aware of all the drama.
They always see you as a competition and adversary. Hence, they try to outshine you at work, dress better than you, and try to stay on center stage while you get sent backstage.
A jealous co-worker would never think of the benefits of collaborating to make things work. All they see is a competition that they desperately need to win.
8. They disrespect you openly:
Disrespect is an attribute of jealousy, and they show this in the way the jealous individual speaks to you and behaves towards you. Now, there is a difference between being rude and being proud. However, most times, rudeness is a trait of jealousy.
A jealous co-worker would speak rudely to you, try to talk you down, and even insult you in extreme cases. They also do this by ignoring you when you talk to them, and pointedly so. A jealous partner wants nothing more than to make you feel bad for doing nothing to them.
Now, in situations like this, it is best to correct them so that they don’t take you for granted. This would also send a message to others that you would not tolerate any form of disrespect.
9. They avoid direct contact with you, especially eye contact:
Avoiding direct contact with a person, or avoiding someone, is not always a sign of jealousy. However, if the person is always trying to avoid you while not avoiding others, then it could be a sign of jealousy.
Another pointer of jealousy is when a person avoids eye contact with you. When a person is jealous of you, they won’t be able to look you in the eyes because they are uncomfortable around you. They also do that because they are probably afraid that you may figure out how they feel about you.
10. They try to sabotage your work:
Another sign that a person is jealous of you is that they try to sabotage your work. They are ready to go to any length to disrupt your tasks, make you pass deadlines, and give you a bad image.
Most times, when you are to collaborate with them on a given task, they would refuse to cooperate with you to achieve the tasks. And if you are the team lead on a project, which they are part of, they would do all they can to frustrate your efforts.
Steps To Take If Your Co-Worker Is Jealous Of You
Now, if you notice any of the signs above from any of your co-workers towards you, don’t fret. Rather, you can take the following steps.
1. Ignore it:
To start with, ignore it. Silence is golden and it would surely put them off when you seem to be unbothered by their toxic traits.
Just focus on your work and don’t get involved in their drama. Silence would also make you exonerated in situations when the issue goes out of hand.
2. Correct them if they become disrespectful:
Another thing you can do is to correct them when they behave disrespectfully to you because of jealousy. Even if you would ignore them, don’t tolerate disrespect. Rather, correct them and make them know you would not be insulted.
3. Get a support system:
You could also get a support system of friends, families, etc., to advise and steady you during this time.
4. Leave the environment if it becomes toxic:
However, if the environment gets toxic beyond what you can handle, it is advisable to leave and go elsewhere, where you would thrive and be appreciated.
Conclusion
Now, jealousy is an emotion that anyone can feel, regardless of social status, color, gender, nationality, etc.
And it is a negative feeling that adversely affects the one who harbors it, as it could lead to making you look down on yourself and even lead to depression.
FAQs
Jealousy is defined as the feeling and thought of unhappiness, resentment, and bitterness directed towards a person.
- They want what you have.
- Low self-esteem
- Comparison
- Name snide and mocking remarks about your work.
- They talk about you badly to others /gossip about you.
- They leave you out of plans for fun activities, after work hours
- Always too busy to help you.
- They always disagree with your ideas
- Try to play down your efforts and achievements.
- They always try to compete with you
- Disrespect you openly
- They avoid direct contact with you; even eye contact:
- They try to sabotage your work
- Ignore it.
- Correct them, if they become disrespectful
- Get a support system
- Leave the environment, if it gets toxic.
References
- dictionary.cambridge.org: Meaning of jealousy
- hintng.com: Signs of a jealous co-worker:
- linknowmedia.net: What to do if your co-worker is jealous of you
- hbr.org: Envy at work
- fairygodboss.com: Signs that your co-worker is jealous of
- Envy at Work – Harvard Business Review
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